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John Sanzari's Characters (Voices on the HippoJuice Podcast)

  1. Petqwk Petkwql - The sick foreigner from Eastern Europe who loves his Ginger Ale and milks humming birds for a living.

    Petqwk

  2. John the Gay Explorer - John's gay explorer alter ego wears short shorts, no shirt, a back pack and goes on adventures!

    John the Gay Explorer


  3. Rhondo the Magnificent - Rhondo is a fashionista and does a weekly update on the latest trends from NYC.

  4. Indie John - He always does exactly what no one else likes or wants. He wears hats and scarves in summer, drink chai iced teas, and thinks mainstream stuff is stupid.

    Indie John

  5. Pearl John - Eddie Vedder has nothing on singing compared to Pearl John... who sometimes becomes Nick Cage.

  6. John Bomb Jovi- John Bon Jovi got his sweet lyrics from the likes of our John. So back off.

    John Bomb Jovi

  7. Juanita - She is a portly, sweet single lady in her mid-thirties, just looking for a fun time out on the town with the girls.



  8. Carlos - Juanita's cousin by marriage. He used to have an anger problem, but now is nothing but polite. He also has a few quirks:
    • Carlos once started a band named Karlos but it was too ahead of its time.
    • Carlos has an unfounded fear of acorns.
    • Carlos has visited Betsy Ross' birthplace 9 times.
    • As a child Carlos enjoyed sticking candy corns in his teeth, had his friends punch him in the face, and then he'd spit the candy corn out as if they were his own teeth. He was a silly boy.
    • Carlos is lactose intolerant, and allergic to gluten, nuts, and shellfish.
    • Carlos has one leg shorter than the other and one shoe needs lifts.
    • Carlos loves watching WNBA.
    • Carlos prefers his iced coffee hot.
    • Carlos is part of a Flash Mob but is afraid of dancing.
    • Carlos wont drink orange soda. He will only drink Orange Crush®.
    • Carlos' PlentyOfFish.com profile says "He wants to meet a girl into good music and cheesy movies."
    • Carlos owns a hairless cat named Gepetto, but Carlos is allergic to cats, so he has to take allergy shots regularly.
    • Carlos was bitten by a turtle when he was 12.... now he's afraid of cough syrup.
    • Carlos is in constant fear of having his bottom bitten by discarded alligators when he poops.
    • Carlos will only eat skittles if they are separated by color.
    • Carlos fills Copenhagen cans with shredded beef jerky and dips that. He can't swallow the jerky juice though because he will puke.
    • Carlos has a recipe for potato salad that has won 4 consecutive titles in the Midwest.
    • Carlos has a time share in North Dakota.
    • Carlos knows how to get spaghetti stains out of underwear.
    • Carlos can hear vegetables.
    • Carlos thinks freckles are contagious.
    • Carlos believes yo-yos are magic.

    Others include: The Irrelevant Elephant, Barnaby Jones (Trash Detective), and John Hammer.

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